


Jewel and Freak

by ThetenthtenbeingofTen



Series: Thorny Dawn Universe [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: BDSM Scene, BDSM-Club, Gay Male Character, M/M, Multi, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 10:29:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14330523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetenthtenbeingofTen/pseuds/ThetenthtenbeingofTen
Summary: Javahir, the young dancer who performs at the Thorny Dawn every Saturday is not into men, and he is not into BDSM either... or is he?Paul is just a friend, and he only comes to a club like the Thorny Dawn for work. It's really just that. Dancing for money.But what's with this feeling, this... curiosity... this urge... for more...? What does it mean when Paul touches him... and why does he want more?Maybe watching Nicholas and his Angel will help Javi understand his feelings...





	Jewel and Freak

**Author's Note:**

> Well... there's yet another series...  
> These characters started out from roleplay, and later works in this series will be inspired by that roleplay.
> 
> About the story: This takes places after Javi has already danced 3 or 4 times at the Thorny Dawn, so he has had some time to grow used to/interested in the world of BDSM.

Javahir wasn’t too certain if this really was a good idea.  
He had only come here to dance, to do his work and be gone. But when he’d spotted Paul in the crowd he couldn’t help but want to at least say hello.

And now he was standing in a dark room, lit with dim red lights and a few candles… watching two people… 

It had started when Paul admitted to having come here to have a session. He wasn’t just going to watch others, or chat at the bar, he fully intended to do something to somebody today.  
That had been a bit of a gut punch for Javi. Of course, he thought, Paul wasn’t here for his sake alone. He wouldn’t come here every week just to watch him dance.  
Still, something about that hurt Javi. He didn’t know how to place it, how to understand this feeling, but he was very aware that it existed within him.

Paul had watched Javahir carefully when he’d told him about his intentions for this evening. And though it wasn’t a lie, he was more than willing to turn his attention to Javi now.  
The flickering emotions that crossed the man’s face were just so telling, yet mysteriously vague. He had seen a hint of hurt, of indignation, and most importantly: shame.

“I haven’t found a partner today though. My friend, whom I’d usually play with, decided to top today, so he’s out of question”, Paul said, like he was talking about the weather.  
Javi fought to suppress his excitement, forbidding himself such an obvious reaction to Paul’s words. But if he didn’t have a partner, that would mean he could still spend his time with him.

Woah, hold it there. Who ever said anything about spending time!?

Nobody, that’s who.  
Javi lowered his head and took a hard breath.  
“Are you okay?”, Paul asked and put his hand on Javi’s back. Javi flinched and almost knocked over his empty glass.  
“I… I just…” he stammered and threw a desperate glance towards the barkeeper, “I just wanted to order another drink.”  
Paul kept his hand where it was and drew small circles with his thumb, following the contours of Javi’s spine.  
“Ah, sure. You must be out of breath after that dance”, he nodded and raised his head to see if one of the barkeepers was free. One of them nodded once and indicated that he’d come over in a moment.  
Paul smiled and turned towards Javi again.  
“I can’t stress it enough, by the way”, he started and put a bit more pressure on Javi’s back with his hand as it slid lower to Javahir’s waist, “Your dances are breathtaking.”

Javi took a shaky breath and held still.  
He had grown up in a touchy family. Hugs, pats, snuggling and cuddling were nothing new for him. But thanks to this, he had developed a keen understanding of what touches meant.  
He knew that Timur’s soft back hand slaps to his cheeks meant nothing but ‘I love you, brother’, he knew that Farhad’s pulling of his hair was an invitation to play, and he knew that Mimi would always hide her face into his chest when she was sad.

He didn’t know Paul as well as his siblings obviously, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t read his touches.

Paul’s hand on his waist, the empty, cold spot on his back, the way Paul’s thumb hugged his side, while his fingers rested mere inches away from his abs spoke of desire.  
Paul wanted him – as a dancer, as a person, who knew – and that unsettled Javi. What actually scared him though, was the acute realization, that he indeed wanted to be wanted; to be desired. By Paul.

“What’d you like?”, asked the barkeeper, pulling Javi back to reality. He blinked twice before forcing a smile.  
“A glass of water”, he said.  
The man nodded and turned away again.

Paul had noticed Javi’s reaction.  
And it piqued his interest. His intentions for having a session today were forgotten. There was just something about this reserved man, that he wanted to uncover.

He saw it in his eyes, that this world didn’t scare him as much as he though it should. He saw the shame, he saw the glint of curiosity and interest.

When the barkeeper brought Javi’s glass of water, Paul watched him drink, never pulling away his hand.  
He knew Javi understood his touches, which is why he usually held back. But right now, he sensed that the raven was opening up, that he was allowing, even enjoying the contact.

Javahir was afraid. Not because he didn’t want to get pulled into this world, but because he indeed wanted to become part of it. Because the things he saw here, didn’t scare him.  
He wanted to see more, partially because he was curious, and partially because he hoped it would scare him after all.

He couldn’t help but think of his family, of their beliefs and thoughts about him. If he came out as anything other than ‘straight and normal’ they would freak out.  
His brothers wouldn't touch him anymore, not even to joke around. His sister wouldn’t trust him anymore, his mother wouldn’t love him anymore, his father would come to hate him… 

But he wanted more. He wanted to explore this world, he wanted to explore himself…

Paul squeezed his side.  
Their eyes met and Paul saw it. The trace of that thought.  
“I saw a fellow Dom take his Sub to the playrooms”, he said. Javi stared at him. He had no idea where Paul was going with this.  
“I know you are curious, Javi”, he continued and removed his hand from Javi’s waist, letting his fingers trail down Javi’s thigh until he reached his hand which he’d clasped tightly over his knee. Gently he pried the cool hand away from his knee and held it.

Javi watched.

The way Paul touched him… he didn’t allow him to be afraid. He showed him what his touches meant, he didn’t try to hide anything, to deceive him.  
He used gentle force to assure him… 

This is what he wanted. What he desired.

He swallowed hard and set down his glass to grab his munchak pendant. It hung low around his neck, resting just between his pectoral muscles.

“If you want, we can ask if we may watch them play.”

Paul looked Javi in the eyes.

“You can leave at any point. Nothing will happen to you, I promise”, he added after a moment of silence.

Javi didn’t say anything.  
He couldn’t.

He couldn’t say yes, but he wanted to. He didn’t want to say no, even though he felt like he should.  
He was curious.

Paul stood from his bar stool and waited. He gave Javi the chance to say no, to say stop. A moment passed and Javi still didn’t say a word.  
So he pulled him forward.  
Javi slid off the stool and followed.

Paul put his arm around Javi’s waist, guiding him gently. He put no pressure on him, only kept his hand on Javi’s hip.  
Javi knew he could run away. He knew he could say no, escape and forget about it. He should be running away, right?

He felt the smooth surface of his munchak, following it’s round edges with the pad of his thumb. It was a nervous habit.  
Timur had given it to him when he was preparing for his middle school graduation, where he had to make it through a bunch of tricky exams. It was a good-luck-charm.  
It calmed him down, not only because it was a munchak – a pendant to hide him from evil eyes – but because it took up one of his hands. It slowed him down, allowed him to stop and think for a moment.

Paul opened the door that led to the open playrooms and everything went dark.  
Clutching the pendant, Javi blinked, willing his eyes to get used to the darkness sooner.

Paul knew the layout of the hallway well enough to guide Javi through it when he was almost blind. They walked further and reached an open cell with a green cross and a gynecologist's chair. It was empty.  
They walked further, Javi’s eyes growing accustomed to the darkness, and soon they had come far enough to hear soft panting.

Paul stopped.

Nicholas and his Angel were playing here. He had found what he was looking for.  
“Sir”, Paul said softly, trying not to disturb the pair. The Dom raised his head and looked at Paul for a moment.  
It took a while before he recognized Paul in the darkness.  
“Ah, it’s you”, he said.  
“Yeah. Would you mind if we watched? We won’t interfere”, Paul asked, throwing a demonstrative glance at Javi.  
Nicholas looked at the young dancer for a moment, before turning to his Angel.  
“I don’t mind”, he said and caressed the pale cheek of his partner, “I think there’s a bench you can sit on”, he added, before turning his full attention back to the Angel.

Paul nodded and thanked the Dom quickly before walking over to the bench. He didn’t want to sit down right now, so he leaned his shoulders against the bars of the next cell.  
He had pulled Javi along.  
“Would you like to sit or stand?”, he whispered into his ear.

Javi shuddered and shook his head.  
He’d stand, thanks.  
He didn’t want to diminish his size any more when he already felt tiny and lost.

Paul didn’t mind and kept his arm around Javi’s waist as it was.  
He turned towards him again.  
“This position is called strappado”, he explained softly. “It’s a position that requires flexibility and endurance.”  
Javi nodded and lifted his eyes to look at the playing pair.

Here he was standing in a dark room, lit with dim red lights and a few candles… watching two people…

No… watching a Dom and his Sub.

Nicholas and his Angel.

The Angel turned his head a little to throw a fleeting glance at his observers. His eyes met Javi’s. For a terrifying moment he saw into the eyes of a slave, of a possession.

“Did I allow you to look at them?”, Nicholas asked softly and kneaded one pale ass cheek with his hand, while the other rested on the small of the Angel’s back.  
“No, Sir. Forgive me, Sir”, the Angel breathed and lowered his head immediately.  
“And?”, Nicholas demanded, running his thumb along the Angel’s crease.  
“Please punish me, Sir”  
“Very well”, Nicholas said and raised his hand. For a moment he waited… and then his hand collided with the Angel’s ass, accompanied by a loud slap.

The Angel winced, but stayed silent.

Javi felt like he needed to apologize.

“Thank you, Sir”, the Angel panted, and Javi threw a glance at Paul. Paul smiled.  
“Watch”, he whispered, squeezing Javi’s hip ever so slightly.

Hesitantly, Javi turned his eyes back towards the two partners.

Nicholas walked around the Angel and squatted in front of his face.  
“Now, you will only look at me, right? Because you are mine. My very own Angel, aren’t you?”, he asked, holding the Angel’s face with both hands.  
“Only you, Sir. Yours alone, Sir”, the Angel replied immediately, staring at Nicholas’ eyes.

“Good”, Nicholas said and rose to his knees, pulling the Angel’s face up a little.  
The Angel whimpered and screwed his eyes shut for a moment, before blinking and staring at Nicholas again.  
“Only at me, my Angel”, he reminded and waited for the Angel to look at him without blinking.  
“Good”, he said again and pressed his lips to the Angel’s.

He pulled away soon, leaving the Angel unsatisfied. He suppressed a whine. If he wanted to be rewarded, he had to be good. He screwed his eyes shut and pressed his lips together.

Only look at his Owner, only him. Only moan for him, only cry for him. Only cry his name.

Nicholas stroked the Angel’s back, following the curve of his spine down to his tailbone. His fingers teased just above the crease but never dipped lower.  
“What a good Angel you are”, he said, pulling his hand back towards the Angel’s nape, scratching his skin with his nails and leaving four red streaks. They stood out against the Angel’s pale skin even in the reddish darkness.  
“Let’s see if you deserve to go to heaven today”, Nicholas mused and ran his fingers through the Angel’s long-ish black hair before stepping away from him entirely.

Nicholas walked to the corner of the cell and knelt down. Javi saw that he had a bag there, and caught himself trying to discern what the Dom was pulling out of it.

He saw something sparkle.

Paul’s hand moved from his waist to his arm, rubbing it as though it were cold.

When Nicholas came back to his Angel, he ran his hand through his hair again. The Angel opened his eyes and smiled.  
“Good boy”, Nicholas praised and bent down to give him another kiss.

This time it was even shorter. And the Angel stared up at Nicholas while he licked his lips.  
“Close your eyes”, Nicholas ordered.  
The Angel’s bright eyes fell shut.

Nicholas walked to the wall behind the Angel’s back, where the rope was tied to a bar and loosened it. He held it in his hand, not letting the Angel down yet.  
“Angel, I want you to stand up”, he said, tugging on the rope once.

“Y-yes, Sir”, the Angel panted.

Javi wondered how much it hurt to have his arms twisted behind his back and pulled up by a rope. He wondered if it was like anything he’d felt before. As a dancer, he obviously had experienced his fair share of stretching and twisting.

Nicholas released the rope, and the Angel’s arms sank down. He straightened his back, keeping his head lowered though.  
Nicholas stood in front of him, still about a head taller than his Sub.

“Keep your eyes closed and your mouth shut, or I’ll hook a chain through your snakebites and put a weight on it”, he threatened while cradling the Angel’s face with his right hand. His left hand wandered down his neck, to his collar bones – caressing the inset diamonds – and down to his chest. The metal thing which he had brought from his bag was concealed inside his hand, his fingers pinching the front of something that looked like a clamp.  
“Yes, Sir”, the Angel breathed and braced himself.

Nicholas teased the Angel’s nipple with the cold metal, before pressing down on the back of the clamp to open it and placed it over the hardened bud.

The Angel scrunched up his face, biting his lower lip to hold back the pained whimper.

Nicholas smiled and pressed a brief kiss to the Angel’s mouth, pulling back before he could react.  
He then repeated the same dance with his other nipple.

Both clamps were connected by a thin silver chain. A ring hung from the middle of the chain, and yet another chain was attached to it. The end of which was still hidden in Nicholas’ hand.

“Those are clamps. They can be used on the nipples or genitals, or even on loose skin in general. It hurts to put them on at first, but due to the suppressed blood flow, the pain subsides pretty soon. Once they’re taken off, it hurts even more. Some people pull them off slowly, others like to just rip them off and yet others use a crop or a whip to snap them off”, Paul explained, pinching Javi’s arm with his fingers. By no means hard enough to hurt him, but it still got a squeak out of Javi and the dancer quickly pressed his hand to his mouth.

He stared up at Paul with something like shock or exasperation. How could he pinch him and expect him to just… just…  
He lowered his head, dropping his hand from his mouth.

Paul nudged him with his shoulder and waited for the dancer to look at him. When he finally did, he smiled at him and nodded towards the playing pair again.  
“Keep watching”, he ordered, stroking the spot he’d pinched earlier with his thumb.

Nicholas had put his arm around the Angel now, blocking his front from the view of their observers. His left arm though moved in a way that Javi could see, and realized – to his infinite embarrassment – that he knew what he was doing.

The Angel let out cut-off half-moans, hiding his face into Nicholas’ shoulder.  
“You are not cumming yet”, Nicholas whispered into the Angel’s ear.  
“No, Sir. I’m not, Sir”, the Angel assured tensely.  
“Very good”, Nicholas smiled and kissed the Angel’s forehead. “Now, quiet”, he hissed and tightened his grip on the Angel, while his left hand stopped moving.

The Angel let out a soft moan before biting his lip and writhed within Nicholas’ grasp.  
“I said quiet”, Nicholas reminded.  
“I… I’m sorry… Sir”, the Angel panted, screwing his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling.

Javi saw the wetness seeping through the Angel’s dark lashes and threw a glance at Paul. Paul gave him a reassuring nod.

Nicholas held his Angel tightly. He hadn’t overlooked the tears, and he hadn’t missed the pause before he said ‘Sir’. He had said it though.  
Still blocking the view from their audience, he gently rubbed the reddened tip of his Angel’s erect member.  
His pleasure was meant to be only his. He knew how much the Angel appreciated it.

Only here was he able to be himself, to live freely.  
As strange as it may sound to that newbie, being possessed, being owned gave the Angel a kind of freedom he sorely lacked in his everyday life.

This did not mean though, that he wasn’t himself inside or outside the playroom. It was a different part of him.  
And no matter which part of him they were seeing, it didn’t change the fact, that he was a private and shy person at heart.

The Angel whimpered into Nicholas’ shoulder, giving in to pleasure more and more. He was absolutely safe. Nicholas would keep him safe. Nicholas would make him happy if he was good today.  
He tried his best to please him, to obey and be good.  
Nicholas knew that.

“On your knees”, he ordered, turning the Angel around before guiding him to the ground. This way Paul and his dancer couldn’t see the Angel’s arousal.

“Javi”, Paul whispered.  
Javi flinched and looked at Paul, looking like he’d done something bad. Paul let his hand rest on Javi’s hip again, pulling him tighter to himself.  
“We won’t know for sure, but I’m fairly certain that he inserted a little plug or rod into the Angel’s urethra. This practice is called sounding. It’s not something that I’ve ever done or I’m very interested in to be honest, but some people stretch their urethra to surprising widths”, he whispered into Javi’s ear.

In the mean time Nicholas had pulled the rope down from a hook or ring – Javi wasn’t certain – at the ceiling, which he had used for the strappado earlier. He wound it around the Angel’s ankles, so that he was bent backwards with his wrists crossed and tied between his propped up feet.

He didn’t watch Nicholas’ next move, instead turning to look at Paul. It baffled him how this man could just say something like that.  
Like… naming practices, describing them… just like that.  
With no shame, no hesitation… 

Paul met Javi’s eyes and this time, instead of telling him to keep watching, he held his gaze, allowing the dancer to read him.  
The metaphor which Paul had used when he first explained the reason why people practiced BDSM came to his memory, and maybe, he thought, that was why he was so relaxed?  
Because it was just like an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant for him. Did he not see how… deep this went?

The Angel obeyed one order after the other, he allowed an intrusion in such a private area, he allowed Nicholas to dominate him in such a strict manner… and yet… Paul described it like it was nothing…

But no, Javi saw the glint in Paul’s eyes.  
There was more to it.

“Watch”, Paul finally whispered and smiled.

Javi obeyed and turned his eyes back to the Angel. Something had been tied around his neck or head, Javi couldn’t tell because of his hair and the darkness, but he did see something was there that hadn’t been before.

He also saw the epidermal implants in his nape, just barely visible beneath his hair; the two diamonds, similar to those on his collar bones.  
The Angel liked piercings, apparently. And tattoos, though Javi only saw one.  
Now that the Angel’s back was turned fully towards him, he saw something between his shoulder blades that looked like wings.  
With the dark light though, he wasn’t sure. Also, the Angel’s position disturbed the shape.

Nicholas squatted next to the Angel, holding a long, thin stick of wood in his hand.  
He pressed his lips to the Angel’s ear and whispered something. The Angel nodded and gripped his ankles with both hands.

“And one”, Nicholas said and hit the sole of the Angel’s bare left foot. The Angel cried out, but from the sound of it, Javi guessed he probably had something in his mouth.

“Two”, Nicholas announced and hit the same foot again. Again the Angel cried out, tilting his head back.  
“Lower your head, my Angel”, Nicholas grabbed a fistful of the Angel’s hair and pulled his head down before counting again.  
“Three”  
Another muffled cry.

Javi’s heart was beating out of his chest. This was too much. Too hard… 

Nicholas counted four, then five; he got up, walked to the Angel’s other side and continued, hitting his right foot now.

“Seven”, he said softly, caressing the arc of the Angel’s foot with the tip of the stick before hitting it again.

The Angel let out a scream and panted heavily.  
Nicholas cradled his face and kissed his forehead.  
“You are doing good, my dear. Very good. Only three more and I’ll take you to heaven”, he promised. The Angel sobbed.  
“Thank you, Sir”, he whimpered and took a quivering breath.  
“Anything, my Angel”, Nicholas replied and lifted the gag back up to the Angel’s mouth. It had a band that went around his neck so that it wouldn’t fall to the ground and get dirty if the Angel dropped it.

Javi put his hand over Paul’s, squeezing it. Something about this scene made his heart ache with envy.

Paul looked at him and pulled his hand away from Javi’s hip to hold onto his hand instead.

No matter how much it may have hurt, the Angel endured three more hits. Nicholas knelt in front of him and held his face with both hands.  
“I am very proud of you, my Angel”, he said and kissed him deeply, swallowing the moans and sobs. He held the kiss and let his hands travel down the Angel’s neck, to his shoulders, down to his chest.  
He circled his nipples with his fingertips before taking off both clamps at the same time.

The Angel cried into the kiss, writhed against him, but Nicholas held him in place, lacing his right hand into his hair, while the other caressed his chest.

When he pulled away, he threw a glance at Paul.

“Leave now”, he said softly, “please.”

Paul nodded once and mouthed a silent ‘Thank you’, before he turned away and left, pulling Javi along with him.  
Paul guided them back to the door, but instead of leaving, he stopped and listened for a moment.

A short while passed, where nothing could be heard from the playroom. But then a soft moan reached them.  
Then another, another, louder; cries, screams.

Javi’s heart beat even harder, his cheeks hot and his hands sweaty. Paul smiled at him; a knowing smirk.  
He pushed the door open and stepped through it, pulling Javi along.

After having been in the dark, even the dim light of the club felt like a bright glare. Javi squinted and lowered his head.  
“Let’s step outside for a bit, what do you say?”, Paul suggested. Javi nodded and started walking towards the door.  
Paul followed.

Outside were a few people, but Javi ignored them, walking further until he found an unoccupied corner.  
Paul followed without a word. A few of the people recognized him, but they understood that this wasn’t the moment to call out to the Dom.

Javi felt like he was about to cry.  
He had hoped to see something like this, when Paul had suggested to watch Nicholas and the Angel play, something scary, something strange. He thought it would finally clear his mind to the point where he’d finally stop thinking about it, where he’d finally stop wanting it.  
But the opposite happened.

He envied the Angel for his endurance, he envied him for Nicholas’ gentle encouragement and praise, he envied him for so many things, even though he couldn’t ever see himself in such a position.  
At another man’s mercy… at Paul’s mercy… 

But no matter how scary it had been, when he saw Nicholas’ expression, how he looked at the Angel when he had finally endured the ten hits to his feet, it all seemed to be so worth it.  
To see his partner this proud and happy… Javi envied the Angel.  
Not because he wanted Nicholas, but because he wanted this kind of praise, this kind of pride… 

He didn’t want to be so ashamed of his desires, of his wishes and fantasies… he wished he could explore them and be praised for his bravery.  
For his obedience.  
For something.

Paul stood near him, shielding him from the view of the other guests and waited.  
He knew this had been intense for Javahir.  
The way the young man had clutched his hand at the end alone spoke volumes. Not to mention all the glances, where fear and excitement were fighting for the upper hand but neither won, leaving Javi in a state of confusion and unfamiliar emotions.

“How are you feeling?”, Paul asked after a while, when Javi seemed to have calmed down a little. The dancer looked at Paul. He didn’t know what to say.  
How was he feeling? Why would it matter to Paul… 

Paul put one hand on Javi’s arm, right where he’d pinched him back in the playroom. In a way, he treated this like a little session.  
He had guided Javi, had given him orders, and now it was his duty to give aftercare and ensure he was fine.  
“Javi, please answer me”, he said softly.  
“I’m fine”, Javi answered curtly.  
“Look at me”, Paul ordered.

Javi froze.

Orders. Paul had given him orders and he had obeyed them.

What did that mean…?

Was he submitting to him, without even knowing?

“Javi, please talk to me. I’m certain you are a bit lost right now. It’s absolutely okay to feel like this. I’m here to help you”, Paul assured and slowly placed his other hand on Javi’s other arm, rubbing circles into his biceps with his thumbs.

Javi didn’t dare to look at Paul. Staring at the hem of his shirt instead. He noted how Paul’s gut bulged out a little, how he could see the buckle of his belt through the fabric.  
He didn’t dare to think about the questions in his mind.

If he admitted that he envied the Angel, would that make him a Sub? Would it mean that Paul could demand obedience and submission from him?  
He hoped not.

Would he be at his mercy?  
Just like the Angel, with no way to ask for help?

Paul squeezed Javi’s arms.  
“You are absolutely safe right now. And you were absolutely safe back in the playroom”, Paul reminded.

Javi turned his head to the side.

He wanted to believe that. He wanted to, he wanted it so badly. He bit his lip and shook off Paul’s hand on his arm to grab the munchak.  
Protect him from evil eyes… 

“No…” Javi breathed. He wasn’t safe. He was about to give in to something that he didn’t understand. Something that scared him.  
Paul didn’t understand.  
He wasn’t afraid of the things he’d seen – okay, he was, but not nearly as much as Paul probably thought. He was so afraid of himself, of his desires and wishes.  
The curiosity that made his cheeks burn with shame.

“No?”, Paul asked and loosened his grip on Javi’s arm. If he wanted to, he could escape.  
“No…” Javi repeated weakly.  
“Should I take away my hand?”, Paul asked. Javi shook his head.  
“Should I take you away from here? Home?”, Paul offered. Javi remained silent.  
“Do you want to go home?”  
“No”, Javi said. He was only now uncovering a side of himself, he felt vulnerable and open. He didn’t want to go home yet, where he’d have to shut it all off again.  
Where he’d have to be himself again.  
“How about we take a walk then? Away from the others?”, Paul offered and slid his hand down from Javi’s arm, where he found his hand and laced their fingers.

They walked back inside, Paul said his goodbyes to the other guests and Javi promised to be back next week for his performance.  
Andy in turn promised to send the money to Javi’s account.

Outside, Paul tied his jacket around his waist, finding it too warm to actually wear it tonight. Javi wasn’t cold, but he put on his jacket nevertheless.  
It was another attempt at hiding himself, at covering up his newfound vulnerability.

Paul didn’t mind it.  
He understood well that Javi hadn’t expected to feel the way he did in the end. He probably hadn’t expected things to be this… hard or raw.  
Or maybe he was more put off by the Angel’s absolute submission. Yeah, maybe it was that.

Paul threw a glance at Javi, who walked with his head lowered – almost like a perfect Sub – and smiled to himself. Truly, he probably overdid it a little, Paul thought and re-tied his dreadlocks.  
Nicholas and the Angel practiced a kind of temporary TPE, where they had a normal relationship outside of their sessions, but as soon as they set foot inside the Thorny Dawn, the Angel was nothing but Nicholas plaything, his possession, his slave.  
It wasn’t something that Paul himself would ever demand from a partner. He preferred a partner, who would dare to talk back to him, someone with a backbone.  
If he wanted a perfectly obedient plaything, he could easily just beat up one of his couch cushions.  
He loved to hold down a struggling partner, to overpower them and force them into their pleasure.

Within the boundaries of safe, sane and most importantly consensual playing, of course.

He squeezed Javi’s hand to make him look up.  
Javi turned his head to the side, squeezing Paul’s hand apologetically.  
“I don’t play like them”, Paul started. Javi tried to hide his reaction. Deep down he knew he couldn’t. His heart was beating out of his chest.  
“What Nicholas and the Angel do is considered to be quite extreme by many people, even within the BDSM community”, Paul continued. If Javi refused to tell him what scared him, he’d start explaining all of it, hoping to reach the right point eventually.  
“There are more extreme things though, they are far from the most hardcore practices. I don’t really see the appeal of those practices though. I mean, I see those people are into it, but I am not”, he explained.

It was late. Nobody was around.

Javi would have refused to let Paul hold his hand under normal circumstances. But right now, it felt right.  
It grounded him. Kept him safe, kept him from wandering off into a realm he didn’t belong in.

Paul’s warmth made his hand sweat. He didn’t mind it.  
It was okay now. Nobody would see this.

He was safe.

“I guess it looked far worse than it was”, Paul started talking again. He had given Javi a moment to think through his previous words, but the dancer had given no outward reaction.  
He listened though, Paul was certain.

“Did you notice how the Angel always addressed Nicholas with Sir?”, he asked.  
Javi nodded once.  
“That’s a signal between them. As long as the Angel keeps calling him Sir, it means he’s okay. If he forgot to say it, Nicholas would stop playing with him and make sure he’s fine”, Paul explained.  
As an experienced Dom, he didn’t need the pair’s word for it, he knew these signals well enough. Pairs liked to agree on codes and signs like that, to have an extra level of in-game-safety.

Javi bit his lip.  
This… changed a lot.

He had previously thought of it as a weird form of oppression. He’d thought that Nicholas demanded this, to place himself so much higher than the Angel. He’d thought it was a means to strip the Angel of his worth and dignity…

When Nicholas had… done things to the Angel, Javi had thought it was cruel to still demand respect like that. But now… the way the Angel had whimpered, the way he had still said Sir even when he was crying now seemed more like an act of bravery, than cowardice.

Paul noticed Javi’s reaction.

“And the gag, remember that?”, he continued. Javi glanced up at him and nodded.  
Paul beamed.  
“It’s another way of making sure the Angel was fine”, he explained. “Nicholas probably told him to hold it in his mouth, so he’d be quiet. But when the Angel dropped it, it showed him, that he needed to take a little break. Remember what happened after that?”  
Javi nodded again.  
“Say it”, Paul demanded.  
“He said Sir”, Javi whispered.

“Indeed”, Paul said, “and when he told him to lower his head...”  
“It was so he’d drop the gag if he needed to...”  
Paul released Javi’s hand and pulled him closer, squeezing his shoulder.

Javi felt both better and slightly worse.  
On one hand, he didn’t feel like he had witnessed a crime – one that both parties consented to, but a crime nonetheless – but on the other hand, it did nothing to sway his desires; his secret need to experience these things for himself.  
Instead of a thrilling trip through fear and disempowerment, he now saw a feeling of security. The promise to play a dangerous game, but never getting hurt.  
Like playing war with wooden swords, like saving princesses from monsters, who in truth were only his brothers with masks over their faces.

The thrill of being brave, without being in real danger.

“I’m going to call my father”, Javi said softly.  
“Okay. I’ll wait with you, okay?”, Paul offered and allowed Javi to put a slight distance between them, while the dancer pulled out his phone.  
“Yeah”, he said before dialing his father and holding the phone to his ear.

Paul shoved his hands into his pockets and watched as Javi waited for his dad to pick up the phone. When he did, Javi smiled and started talking.  
It had always fascinated Paul to hear Javi talk in his mother tongue.  
The language was so different from what he was familiar with, yet he knew the tone well enough by now to tell that Javi was content and at ease.

Javi nodded to himself before hanging up. His hand came up to hold onto his munchak pendant again, while the other slid his phone back into his pocket.  
“All good?”, Paul asked.  
Javi nodded again.

“So…” Paul murmured, “you’ll be dancing with Sahra again next Tuesday, right?”  
“Yeah. As always”, Javi said and smiled softly.  
“Is she good?”, Paul asked with a smirk.  
“Pretty much, yeah.”  
Paul laughed.  
“So she’s not terrible?”, he asked jokingly. Javi threw him an appalled glance.  
“She is your niece, of course she isn’t terrible”, he insisted.  
“So I’m not terrible either?”, Paul asked, grinning widely.  
Javi stuttered.  
“No… you’re not. I mean… that’s not what I meant!”  
Paul hugged him with one arm and smiled into Javi’s short and curly hair.  
“I know, I’m just teasing”, he said and let him go before Javi could protest.

“She’s a bit… overzealous, sometimes”, he said after a moment.  
Paul raised his head.  
“Uhm… she isn’t one for subtle moves”, Javi added.  
“Hm”, Paul muttered and looked into the dark sky, “yeah, that sounds like her. She’s very energetic and enthusiastic, right?”  
Javi nodded.  
“She’s amazing at dances like Jive or Paso Doble”, he said with a smile.  
“I’m not going to pretend like I know… Javi?”, Paul started, but stopped when Javi started walking into the street.  
A car approached them and stopped a few meters away from them.  
So Javahir’s father had arrived.

Paul wasn’t sure if he should follow Javi for a proper goodbye, or stay away to avoid tricky questions.  
Javi greeted his father before turning back towards Paul.  
“Paul?”, he called softly.  
Paul came closer, hands in his pockets. He tried to keep his face neutral.  
“Next week?”, Paul asked noncommittally.  
“Father asks if we should give you a lift”, Javi stated, not replying to Paul’s question at all. Paul opened his mouth to refuse, but found himself unable to actually say anything.  
“We can drive by the public swimming pool, it’s somewhat close to your home, right? It’s almost on our way”, Javi added when Paul didn’t answer.

“You don’t have to…” Paul finally uttered, feeling shy and nervous.  
“Nonsense! You are the friend of Javi, right? I can drive you to the… thing”, Javahir’s father suddenly called out.

“Get in”, Javi finally said and slid onto the passenger seat next to his father. They hugged briefly, and the elder placed a peck on Javi’s forehead, before both turned to look at Paul expectantly.  
He sighed and sat on the backseat.

At first the ride was silent. Javi stared out the window, eyes lazily following the contours of the cityscape.  
Paul was too nervous to say anything, so he busied himself with the ends of his dreadlocks.  
They had grown out a little, making them look even weirder, but he didn’t mind. He was certain he’d look like a criminal if he cut off his hair.  
Also, he’d grown out his hair for over 3 years now, he wouldn’t give up on all that.

In the end, it was Javahir’s father who broke the silence.

“Your name is Paul?”, he asked and looked at Paul through the rear view mirror.  
“Uh, yeah”, Paul quickly replied, trying to hide his slight anxiety.  
“And you are… brother? No… uncle of the dance partner of Javi?”, the elder asked and threw a glance at Javi, who nodded once.  
“Uncle, yes”, Paul agreed.  
“You met my son because of her?”  
“Yes. She invited me to watch the dance-training once…” Paul wished he could look at Javi from his position, to see if he could give more details or not.  
“And Javi works for you…?”  
“No, Father. I work for his friend”, Javi interjected.  
“You make good money. Better than your brother!” They switched languages.

Paul leaned back and looked out the window. He tried to listen for words or names he recognized, but even when his name fell from Javi’s lips he couldn’t discern anything useful.

“My son told me you have many friends?”, Javi’s father turned back to Paul.  
“I… I mean, yeah. Pretty much”, Paul answered quickly.  
“And a wife?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“A wife. You have one?”, Javi’s father said.  
Paul wanted to run away.  
“Uhm…” he tried, “no. I don’t.”  
“Ah, why not? You don’t want children one day?”

Javi giggled into his fist.  
“No… I haven’t met the right person yet, I think”, Paul admitted, “and I don’t think I’m suited to have children.”  
“Ah, shame”, Javi’s father murmured and shook his head. “Children are a gift, young man”, he said and threw his hand on Javi’s shoulder.  
“Every one of them is a gift. Don’t you think, Javahir?”  
Javi smiled.  
“Mimi was a gift”, he said and earned a roaring laugh from his father.

Paul smiled.  
The way Javi’s father had said his name was very sweet. 

Javahir meant jewel or pearl in persian, Javi had told him. The way Javi’s dad had said it told Paul, that he truly meant it; that Javi was a priceless jewel to him.

“Sahra was a gift too”, he said softly.  
Javi nodded.

Paul smiled.  
“Good, you understand well”, Javi’s father said and pulled the car over, where usually the school bus would stop, when children had their swimming classes.  
Paul thanked him and Javi, and stepped out of the car. Javi waved at him, smiling.

That was good, Paul thought.  
Today, tonight had been good.

He’d have to thank Nicholas and the Angel, next time he saw them.

* * *

In case you were interested: This is the tattoo on the Angel's back, and the reason for his name.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this as much as the Angel did!


End file.
